I Fall Asleep in Seconds Now. Not Minutes — Seconds.
College, a backend lead role, a personal project, and the gym all running at once. This is what life looks like when consistency replaces routine and exhaustion becomes proof of motion.
I've been working with startups for over a year now. Different teams, different products, different time zones. But I've never been this busy. Never this tired.
The kind of tired where your head touches the pillow and you're just gone. Not in minutes. In seconds.
Who I Am Right Now
The 2026 Decision
But I'm not doing this in isolation. My daily life right now looks like four parallel tracks running at the same time:
College — classes, assignments, the usual grind
Remote job — 6 to 7 hours of real engineering work
My own project — 1 to 2 hours squeezed in wherever I can
Gym — 2 hours, because I refuse to let my health slip
What I've Lost Along the Way
The one thing I really hate about this phase is how isolated it can feel. Sometimes I get so caught up in everything that I don't even talk to my parents properly for weeks.
That part doesn't feel ambitious. It just feels heavy. It's probably the worst trade-off in all of this.
What I've Gained
The Honest Truth
Will this last? I don't know. This pace is probably sustainable for another four or five months. Maybe my idea works out. Maybe I scrap it entirely. I genuinely don't know.
But I'm not going to wonder what if.
Trusting God. Keeping my head down. Doing the work.
Let's see where this goes.